Classic TV Flashback - Get Smart…

This has to be one of my favourite shows not only for me but for my family who would know the words to every episode off by heart. I’m talking about that classic 60’s comedy series Get Smart created by Mel Brooks and Buck Henry, and staring Don Adams as Maxwell Smart secret agent 86 of Control. If you are not familiar with this show you are about to be with the June 26^th release of Get Smart the movie staring Steve Carrel as Maxwell Smart but more on that later, and also more later on the DVD release of this series, currently only available through Time Life but will be in stores soon.

Get Smart is a cult classic with a host of catch phrases still in use to this very day, and the most iconic part of this series was the famous shoe phone, which in this day and age of mobile phones is nothing. Series one of the show premiered on American television in 1965 on NBC and lasted for four seasons before moving over to CBS for the fifth and final season. In 1980 the first Get Smart Movie was created titled the Nude Bomb which was a flop in the cinema, however in 1989 ABC created a Get Smart telemovie which was very successful, and because of this success lead to a short lived sixth series on FOX, also a failure. This made Get Smart the only program in history to air on all four of the major American television networks. In Australia it aired on the Seven Network.

The pilot episode was the only one to air in black and white, titled Mr. Big the episode introduced Control the secret government organisation established to defeat a new evil organisation called Kaos. Mr. Big is the new leader and is holding Control ransom for $100 million if not payed he will use an inthermo ray to blow up the Statue of Liberty.

Maxwell Smart is the shows main character and is best known as the clumsy, incompetent secret agent who ironically is the Control organisations top agent. He is also know for his various catchphrases such as “missed it by that much”, “and… loving it” as well as the various would you believe phrases such as, “You better drop that gun because this yacht happens to surrounded by the seventh fleet… Would you believe the sith fleet?… How about a school of angry flounder?”

The best thing about Max is the various relationships he has with each of the people surrounding him, such as always frustrating the Chief but deep down the Chief has a soft spot for Max.

MAX: I’m sorry I’m late Chief, but I was stuck in the car for almost twenty minutes.
CHIEF: I know 86, the traffic.
MAX: No, the seat belt. I can never get that darn thing unbuckled.

The Chief is in charge of the Control organisation only answerable to the White House itself, the Chief joined Control back in the days when agents were assigned letters rather than numbers and was known as Agent Q.

CHIEF: Just don’t get caught Max. Capture means certain death.
MAX: Suicide mission eh Chief? Well you picked the right man.
CHIEF: I hope so.
MAX: You hope what? That you picked the right man? Or that it’s a suicide mission?

Agent 99 is the one who keeps Max in line you could say, she is the brains of the operation however Max gets to take all the credit for it. Eventually she would become Max’s wife and the mother to twins while still having an active role within Control.

Max shoots a window washer suddenly…
99: Max, what did you do!?
MAX: Just eliminated a Kaos agent.
99: Well, how could you be sure?
MAX: Because 99, my eagle eye picked out a few things that the ordinary person might not see. First of all his sponge was absolutely filthy. Second he was using horizontal strokes instead of vertical strokes. And finally, he was holding his squeegee with an overlapping lacrosse grip.
99: Besides its raining, and window washers don’t work in the rain.
MAX: I wasn’t finished 99.
99: Sorry Max.
MAX: Besides its raining, and window washers don’t work in the rain.
99: Good thinking Max.

Larabee is the Chief’s right hand man and just as clueless as Max with other agents wondering if the two are related. Larabee is always in contact with his wife on the phone telling her every little detail that happens at the office, but at the same time doesn’t want to go home to her.

MAX: I’m going to have myself kidnapped.
99: No Max, I’m not going to let you sacrifice yourself like that.
LARABEE: She’s right Max, let me go.
MAX: Are you saying that because I’m married Larabee?
LARABEE:No Max, I’m saying that because I’m married.

Hymie is a Control robot who was stolen from Kaos by Max and converted from evil to good. He is programmed for neatness and even a small bit of cigarette ash on the carpet is enough to get this robot angry with Kaos.

MAX: You’re sluggish. You’re run-down and out of tune. You go around all the time half-charged. If you’re not careful, terrible things could happen.
HYMIE: Like what?
MAX: Well you could end up as a cab in South America.

Harry Hoo was a favourite of mine, although only appearing in two episodes he was a great character. Harry Hoo is a famous Hawaiian detective who is serving with the San Francisco police force and is known for his love of wearing white suits, as well as the phrase “moment please” when he starts a conversation.

HARRY HOO: As Confucius say, “Stick and stone may break my bone, but name will never hurt me.”
MAX: Confucius said that?
HARRY HOO: As a child.

Ludwig Von Siegfried would be the most well known and famous Kaos agent who considers himself to be one of the instrumental parts of the Kaos organisation, he is one of the smart ones but is continuously out smarted by Maxwell Smart. His best catch cry would have to be “This is Kaos, we don’t bbbbbpppppphhhhhh here!”

SIEGFRIED: Give me one good reason why he shouldn’t trust me.
MAX: Because you’re a rotten, vicious, cruel, cunning, maniacal murderer.
SIEGFRIED: All right, that’s one. Now give me another.

But Siegfried wouldn’t be the man he is without his bumbling sidekick Shtarker who claims to be the all-time track star of the Third Reich and the second man to escape from a POW camp in El Alamein, Egypt, right behind Siegfried.

Some of the most recognisable Kaos agents are below, excluding the first one who is Billet a former actor who threatens to destroy New York City if he is not payed $50 million, but behind him is the iconic Kaos logo.

The Claw or as Max like to call him the Craw is the leader of the Chinese branch of Kaos who has a false arm with a magnet attached in the shape of a claw. He appears in two episodes, one where he uses the front of the Shanghai a-Go-Go disco tech and the other a Chinese laundry.

Dr Yes has razor sharp fingernails with one of them containing a poisonous tip; he is responsible for making missiles run off course launched by the US Government. He operates within a power station at the bottom of Lost Lake only accessible by swimming under water in scuba gear.

The Groovy Guru is a hippy DJ who plans to use hidden messages in the lyrics of rock songs performed by a band called the Sacred Cows.

Waxman is the owner of an amusement attraction at a theme park called the Chamber of Horrors, a wax museum which is a Kaos front. He attempts to turn Max and 99 into wax dummies.

Another Kaos killer is the diabolical Leadside who is confined to a wheelchair; he destroys Control’s ARDVARC Computer and plots to destroy Control in three stages. Stage 1, to escape from the custody of Max, stage 2 to destroy Control by blowing up ARDVARC and stage 3 to kill Max.

My favourite episode out of all five seasons would have to be the one titled Schwartz’s Island where Max and 99 go on there honeymoon sailing on a yacht when Max blows up the engine by lighting a match too close. The life raft is then blown up by Max with a flair gun meaning that Max and 99 need to swim for land eventually finding an abandoned island. On the island they are unable to find any food so they take a walk only to discover a giant magnet and the headquarters of Kaos’ Siegfried and Shtarker.

The plan is then explained that a Kaos scientist Schwartz is the creator or synthetic islands and plan to use the giant magnet to run aground the United States 6^th fleet. The Chief then comes to the rescue of Max and 99 only to be captured himself, then all three are placed in synthetic sand while Siegfried and Shtarker make their escape.

Eventually all three escape and with no way of getting off the island, they use the Chief who is still in his inflatable diving suit as a life raft. This episode was filmed on the set of Gilligan’s Island with the name Schwartz poking fun at the shows creator.

June 26^th a new Get Smart movie will be released into cinemas staring Steve Carrel, it doesn’t look all that fantastic and more of a film for Warner Bros to make a quick profit but we shall see anyway and all indications from Get Smart fan site Would You Believe is that it doesn’t do the TV series any justice.

The DVD of Get Smart has been out in Australia for over a year now and is only available through Time Life. It is an impressive collection however a big rip off with Time Life charging an arm and a leg to be able to own the whole collection, compared to the American release it is highly inflated. But in June it will be available in shops for the first time and will be released in volumes according to season and not individual episodes like the Time Life collection.

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