How To Build A Remarkable Life With Rick Warren

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How To Build A Remarkable Life With Rick Warren Video

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How To Build A Remarkable Life With Rick Warren Video Transcript

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you know sometimes you meet people that right off the bat they just stand out in your mind and it may be because of an outstanding achievement or an outstanding talent or giftedness or an outstanding personality but they’re just extraordinary they’re unusual people we call these people remarkable people you you could think of them very easy go that person is remarkable she’s remarkable he’s remarkable things like that now all of us want to live remarkable lives and God wants you to live a remarkable life that doesn’t mean famous Fame has nothing to do with it you can make an impact and most of the world not even know who you are but you have an enormous impact on the world through your legacy and you’ll never by the way know your legacy on this earth you’ll never know it because you don’t know all the people whose lives have been changed by people you touch and they touch to others and on and on and on but we want to live remarkable lives and as parents those who of you who are parents we all want remarkable kids and we want remarkable grandkids and we want them to have an impact in lives how many of you either own a small business or you work for a business that offers either a product or a service of some kind gonna see your hands okay yeah that’s a lot of you would you say it’s easier to get people’s attention or harder to get people’s attention today it’s harder isn’t it because there’s so much competition out there with all of the noise and all of the news and all of the media and all social media and things like that how does your product how does your business how does your your service and get attention well the only thing that really gets attention is that which is remarkable for instance you know you can have two restaurants right next to each other and one of them nobody’s going to it all and the other one there’s a line of people waiting to get in and they’re willing to wait up to an hour to have a meal why remarkable food or a company creates a remarkable product and it just goes like gangbusters and it’s skyrockets and why is it that some hotels and motels have people booking up a long time advance and others are empty lots of vacancies remarkable service now I written that written on your outline a definition of remarkable remarkable means exceptional it means outstanding it means uncommon it means worthy of attention history human history is written primarily by remarkable people and you could easily make a list of people you would think in different areas and arts and entertainment and in government and in law and all the different areas yeah well they were remarkable they made it made a pretty big impact but I will say this to you God wants you to have a remarkable life but the only way you’ll ever be able to live it is if you’re willing to be different if you want to be like everybody else you’re never gonna be remarkable that’s the very definition of remarkable is it’s not common you are uncommon to be remarkable in life means you’re not like other people and if you want children who are remarkable children you have to teach them how to not care about being like everybody else that’s not remarkable that’s just common so the secret of remarkable people is that they’re willing to do things that the rest of us aren’t willing to do they’re willing to develop habits that are uncommon they’re willing to put in extra hours that are uncommon they’re willing to make effort that the rest of the world isn’t willing to make they’re willing to pay a price in order to make a remarkable difference that most people aren’t willing to make and and to learn this last week is interesting I read a dating study is in two different magazines and I actually read it in two different magazines in in Harvard Business Review and also in Forbes magazine of a study of a thousand managers who felt quote stuck in their career they did this study people out I’m been at the level I’ve at I’ve been at the level I’m at right now for a long time and I don’t think I’m ever gonna make any more progress in my career I don’t think I’m gonna get any promotions I am stuck in a dead-end career and so then they went ahead and did a study and they interviewed the bosses they interviewed the people and they discovered that those people 97% of them had either one or more of what they called career limiting habits career limiting habits and and they made a list of the ten most common career limiting habits and even when people knew that they had them they don’t change even though they know it’s keeping them from actually growing and developing and and making a greater impact of their life today we’re going to look at how do you build a remarkable life and we’re going to look at four of the antidotes to these career limiting habits now the Bible is filled with examples of remarkable people Deborah was a remarkable person Esther she was a remarkable person Joe Jonah Nehemiah was a remarkable business man and on and on and on some of the people in the Bible they’re famous some of them you wouldn’t know but they all were pretty remarkable in the way that they lived one of them that you have heard of if you’ve been around Saddleback was a guy named Daniel who was taken as a slave from Israel back to Babylon which over came Israel and took the entire nation as slaves during the Babylonian Empire and the Bible says this notice on your outline Daniel chapter 6 verse 3 Daniel so distinguished himself from all the other leaders by his remarkable qualities circle bat his remarkable qualities that the king this is Nebuchadnezzar the Emperor of the Babylonian Empire planned to put him Daniel in charge over the entire empire are you kidding me Wow a guy who starts off was a slave and is taken hostage to a foreign country and he doesn’t want to be there but he has so many remarkable qualities in his life that the most powerful man in the world King Nebuchadnezzar the Babylonian Empire goes put that guy as number two and he’s gonna be in charge of my entire empire I want to know what those qualities were today we’re going to look at four of the qualities that were in Daniels life and I want us to look at it from two different points first in your own life these are things you can learn these are things that you can develop and the rest of your life can be the best of your life if you’re willing to put in the effort now if you’re not willing to put any effort you can go ahead and leave right now because knowing about them doesn’t change you they said in that study of those managers they knew some of the things they need to change they just didn’t change them but if you’re willing to put that effort in to make those changes and ask God to give you the strength to make those changes the rest of your life could be the best of your life and we’re going to look at the antidotes for antidotes to for the big common things that hold people back in life keys to living a remarkable life but also because we’ve been in this series on family I want us to look at it how do you build them in your children you want remarkable kids you want them to succeed in they’re like well there’s certain things that you can build in their life now growing up you heard in school about the 3 R’s you remember that the three are reading writing and arithmetic now what’s strange to me is if that’s about education why are two of them misspelled as writing and rithmetic don’t start with R so it seems kind of self-defeating but I’ve got a panel of moms who are going to help me with what I call the four R’s reading is important writing is important arithmetic is important but you can have all those and still not be remarkable you got to have the the remarkable qualities that Daniel had and we’re going to look at those right now with our panel so I want you to welcome Julia and Jody Indiana I’ll introduce them to you bring them on bring them out with an applause thank you ladies these these women are not only moms but all three of them have been teachers and I thought this would be great to have them talk about how do we teach for ours that are different from the 3 R’s Julia Bernier is a mother of two she’s got a 24 year old son and a 22 year old daughter she’s taught elementary school she’s taught junior high god bless you here at Saddleback she’s volunteered as a mission leader she’s hosted small groups she prays with other people out in our prayer garden welcome Julia all right all right Jody Rosser is the mother of two boys an 11 year old and a 15 year old she is a lab teacher for grade school that’s kindergarten through sixth grade in science technology engineering and math she where were you when we all needed tutors in engineering math and technical okay she serves as a kid small group leader here at Saddleback Church she’s a coach for treasured moms which is one of our Women’s Studies Program so welcome Jody we’re glad you’re here thank you and on the Indiana rudder is the mother of two daughters and she’s got a four year old that a six year old some of my favorite stages she’s at an elementary school principal with Irvine Unified School District and she’s helped out and served here at Saddleback long time volunteers with Irvine campus special events so welcome Deanna we’re glad you’re here thank you now let’s get right into it okay we got a lot to cover for ours for a remarkable life I’ve got to grow them in my life if I want remarkable kids I’ve got to build them into their lives here there are number one if I want to build a remarkable life and a remarkable career I must learn to be respectful of everybody I must learn to be respectful to everyone this is the starting point respect is the foundation of a remarkable life respecting others shows reverence for God it shows humility in the way you relate to other people so why Israel why have you got this as the number one quality in a remarkable life because today everybody’s rude you won’t agree with that is that is the world getting more respecting or more disrespectful yeah no we’re getting ruder the world is becoming more uncivil or in civil and so the more rude the world gets the more a person who is respectable of everybody becomes remarkable you stand out like a bright star on on a dark night now I’ve given you a definition there on your outline the definition of respect are to be respectful it means to appreciate the uniqueness value the worth and affirm the dignity of everyone because God made them I want to read again because notice three qualities truly to be respectful of everybody means you appreciate their uniqueness because they’re not like you can you appreciate people or not like you you value their Worth and you affirm their dignity every one because God made them you see any time you disrespect anything God made it’s an insult to God that’s the limit I made them I made that I made you and I made them you think I love you more than I love them you think you’re more important than they are it’s actually quite arrogant it’s quite egotistical it’s quite prideful when we don’t respect other people we’re basically saying God you goofed up you made a mistake and you should have made everybody like me which I’m the standard of perfection here Aladin work we all know you’re not standard I’m not standard everybody is broken it’s arrogant I told you it’s the opposite of humility anytime I’m rude to you or anybody is rude to you or anytime you’re rude to anybody else you’re revealing your ego you think in that moment that you don’t need to be respectful you think what if the clerk is a jerk you still need to be respectful I’m not saying you have to prove of everything no no God doesn’t approve of everything I do doesn’t approve of everything you do or anybody else for that matter there’s a tyranny and acceptance approval he accepts us He loves us he values us he no he says we have dignity even though we’re flawed were sinful we’re broken they’re both true and and and so God looks to bless people who respectful if you want God’s blessing on your business on your career on your family on your friendships on your relationship whatever you want God to bless you need to be respectful in every area of your life it’s the foundation there’s so many promise promises that are given in the Bible that say that when you build this quality respectfulness that you will be blessed let me show you a couple here’s one Matthew 23 verse 12 if you put yourself above others so you don’t feel like you have to respect them you’ll be put down if you put yourself above us you’ll be put down but if you humble yourself you will be honored by others study after study have shown the people are employees who are disrespectful get stuck they don’t keep progressing in their career they get stuck because people don’t want to work with people who are disrespectful so God leaves no wiggle room about this let me show you some some verses first peter 2:17 the bible says show real respect to people you like no no that’s not what it says so let’s read it aloud together show real respect to circle that to everyone now just in case you don’t understand what the word everyone means which by the way I looked up that word in the original Greek and in the original Greek the word everyone means everyone there’s no exception but just in case you know you think there’s some wiggle room god 30 40 50 times the scripture tells us specific groups of people that you must must show respect to if you want God’s blessing on your life and on your career I’m gonna go through 10 of these very fast and I I’m in order to save time I didn’t even write all the verses out if you would like these verses I’ll be happy to send them to you if you’re watching online or listening to this on an mp3 whatever you can actually hear just take a card out and write the word verses on it and I’ll send all these verses to you this week they’re all written now but I’m just gonna give you the feelings there’s ten different groups God says you have to show respect to if you want his blessing on your life number one I must show respect for God’s name and word I must show respect for God’s name in God’s Word I can’t be using God’s name as a cuss word or as as an additive just like uh you know God God or God you know no don’t use God as an exclamation point you you take his word and you take his name seriously second I must show respect to my parents in the ten commandments one of the commandments is honor your father and mother and it’s the only of the Ten Commandments that actually has a promise with it and it says and if you read these verses that I’ve written out here Ephesians six three and two and three that if you honor your father and mother you’ll have a long life full of blessing she only promise of the Ten Commandments that has a promise with it number three I must show respect to my spouse if you are married your husband your wife then God expects you to show respect to your your spouse and if you don’t by the way guys men did you know that if you don’t respect your wife the Bible says God will not hear your prayers oh this is one verse you got to see let me put it on the screen first Peter first Peter 3 7 and 8 ok here’s what it says you husband’s must give honor to your wives treat her with understanding as you live together she may be physically weaker than you are but she is your equal partner in God’s gift of new life and if you don’t treat her as you should your prayers will not be heard BAM I’m sorry honey so you need to treat them others that’s out of New Living Translation now before you women get cocky I have a verse for you to Ephesians 5:33 says this and I starts with the guys again again I say again ok we don’t always learn it that well the husband must love his wife as a part of himself it’s like love your neighbors yourself you’re to love your wife as yourself you know the treating her with respect and the wife must see to it that she respects her husband praising and honoring him from the Living Bible all right number 4 the Bible says that God expects me to respect other church members in our church family and pastors the Bible says were to treat each other as brothers and sisters weird to outdo each other and showing respect to each other I’ll be happy to send you these verses Romans 12:10 Hebrews 13:17 but we’re to respect each other in the family of God number 5 the Bible says that I’m expected to show respect to older people you’ve heard the phrase respect your elders well guess where it came from it’s from the Bible God says that if you want his blessing you must respect the elderly in Leviticus 1932 number 6 I am a show respect this may surprise you to unbelievers doesn’t matter if they’re an atheist or an agnostic or some other religion or no religion at all secularists whatever the Bible says God expects me to show respect to unbelievers first Peter 3:15 and 16 and says when you share your hope with them always do it with gentleness and respect number 7 I am to show specifically respect to the poor to the poor the Bible says if you’re unkind to the poor you insult your Creator but if you’re kind to them then you show respect to God and you show respect to them and so somebody may not have as much money as you do you don’t get any leeway in disrespecting them because they can’t afford what you can’t afford you have to show respect to the poor number 8 I am to show respect to immigrants now this is one that’s actually mentioned over and over it’s not mentioned just one time it’s mentioned over and over I am to show respect to immigrants and in fact let me show you this verse 2 because this is a hot-button issue right now particularly in in the United States Leviticus 19 33 and 34 says this you must never mistreat any foreigner who is living in your country instead you must treat them just as you treat your own citizens I didn’t say this God did God did love foreigners as you love yourselves because you remember that your ancestors were foreigners at one time in a new country and I am the Lord your God I don’t have time to go into this but the Bible very clearly God gets mad he gets ticked off when we don’t show of foreigners or immigrants respect number nine this is these are getting harder every night I am to show respect to my opponents to enemies to people who attack you or maybe persecute you or maybe try to put you down or you know plan for your defeat it’s easy to show respect to people you like it’s hard to show respect to people you dislike or people who have a different political persuasion or different religious persuasions do you show respect to people who violently disagree with you that’s a mark of a Christian here’s what Jesus said these are the words of Christ himself Matthew 5:44 247 I don’t want to read this one to you Jesus said you’ve heard it said love your enemies and hate your love your neighbor and hate your enemies but I tell you he said no not love your neighbor and hate your enemies I tell you love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you and this way you show that you are the children of your heavenly Father your father in heaven it shows your follower Christ you’re in the family if you only love those who love you do you deserve a reward obviously no are you doing anything remarkable notice there’s that word remarkable are you doing anything remarkable if you only welcome your friends answers obviously not everybody does that in God’s word translation so we we are you how do you be a remarkable person when when they are attacking you you give nothing but love back when they’re disrespectful to you you are respectful to them he said that’s how you know you really have been saved that you’re in the family of God and then number 10 this one’s hard to sometimes I am to show respect to government leaders oh really really even the opposite party whatever the Bible tells us over and over that we are to respect the position even when people are not doing respectful things now that’s just a list and I just gave you ten if I could have given you 3040 very specific groups but let’s go to my panel of moms and teachers here and let’s talk about how do you learn to treat everybody with respect how did you learn it how do you teach kids how to learn it you know one of the things growing up for my sister and I is we grew up in and I’m believing unchurched ohm and unfortunately my parents had lots of pain from their childhood and they ended up drinking alcohol and became alcoholics so it was a very tumultuous upbringing and it was in an unstable environment and as I grew and got older it was more and more difficult to just respect my dad and he was stubborn he was difficult he was rude and very hurtful and so when I finally did say yes to Jesus myself my sister and I had used that time to just share we shared over 20 years who Christ was and shared his love but there was a day when I was having such a hard time forgiving him because it he hurt me so so much and in that moment God changed me and he showed me that my dad had been raised with so much pain in his life that he really did not know how to do anything differently as my sister and I continued to pray for him he came to Christ Wow he softened his heart was softened but I had to learn to respect him before he was kind to me you’re never gonna win anybody to Christ that you disrespect now you say well what they’re doing is not respectable that’s not what we’re talking about we’re not talking about their behavior if you only respected perfect people nobody would respect you because you’re not perfect and I’m not nobody else is by the way some of you you you had parents who were pretty disrespectful and in their behavior maybe you didn’t even know them why did God choose your parents for you so you go well Oh God give me a good parents like she has her but he has because if God had given you different parents is you wouldn’t exist now let’s listen very clear carefully God chose your parents to be your parents not because they were good at parenting God chose your parents to be your parent not but some of you didn’t even know him maybe you were abandoned by them but God chose your parents to be your parents because they had just the DNA to create you and nobody else could create you and God is far more interested in creating you than he was in their parenting skills they may have been terrible at parenting but without your mother’s DNA and your dad’s DNA you would not exist and God was interested in creating you and he can do it out of all kinds of you know bad circumstances so when it says honor your father and mother it doesn’t mean honor the pain they gave you doesn’t mean honor the harm or the hurt it means honor the fact that God chose them to create you you can honor that because without them your mother’s DNA and your dad said you would not exist and that’s what God wants us Donna what point well I was gonna say for us in our family we want to model respect for our kids and so I think I have a teenager and a soon-to-be teenager and so sometimes they don’t always talk respectfully to me and it’s easy to want to Reese react in anger back and just whatever I’m feeling just kind of triggers out and I start to explode on them and I’m realizing that we need to respond in love it’s easy to want to react but instead we need to slow down and think before because we’re showing them how to treat people with respect and if we can’t show them respect then they’re not gonna show anyone else respect so there’s that great verse that says be quick to listen slow to speak and slow to anger so we have to slow down so we can respond and love not react in anger that’s great I hope you hear what Jodi’s when I’m angry with you it’s highly unlikely that I’m being respectful because it’s hard to be respectful somebody when you’re ticked off and so you might need to let that cool cool down first and-and-and what you just said is if I want my kids to be respectful I have to respect them I have to model it how do you be respectful even when you’re upset with somebody you can be respectful when you totally disagree with something that somebody’s done or a value or a decision or a choice but you can always show respect no matter what and and and we have to model that for kids when I think about respect and how we do it and in fairness I work with little guys and I have little kids so I think of how important it is to model but then to also be explicit with what respect looks like and what the picture of that is because the kids hear that word a lot they hear it in schools they hear it from us but sometimes they don’t know these specific actions of what that looks like in practice and so the more clear you can be with them about that so you know with with my kids if we’re getting ready to go into a situation and you know it’s your birthday party and you’re gonna have lots of different friends from lots of different groups what does it look like to respect all of those people and having that conversation with them and you know I do it with kids but then I think I also do with adults on the other end when we talk about professional respect because someone comes into my office to say I can’t deal with this person anymore I’m done with them and so then you get to have a great conversation about so what does professional respect look like what are the action steps that I can take to show someone what that looks like how do I deal with my own emotions and then what do I do moving forward you know it’s not rocket science this first quality the foundation Apollo just treating everybody with this frac we’re treating everybody with dignity even people you disagree with and even people who are not respectful to you it’s pretty simple and kids don’t have to learn a hundred different rules they just need to have to learn one rule it’s called the golden rule and the golden rules the next verse on your outline where Jesus said in Matthew 7:12 this is the famous golden rule of Jesus in everything you do do to others what you would want them to do to you this sums up all the law and the prophecy so the whole Bible summed up in this the tree people the way you’d like to be treated well that’s not rocket science a little child can learn how do I want to be treated that’s the way I treat others and if I learn that one rule treat other people the way I’d like to be treated then I am going to be respectful that makes sense all right let’s go to the second one the second R in a remarkable life if I want to build a remarkable life and a remarkable career second thing I have to learn is not just how to show respect I’m gonna have to learn to be reliable reliable because if you’re not reliable nobody’s gonna trust you and if nobody trusts you you can’t do business with them you can’t lead them you can’t have any impact in their life now in the Bible the word reliable is not used that often because it’s a fairly modern term but the concept is all through scripture and it’s called being trustworthy trustworthy is the same thing as being reliable being worthy of trust another word that the Bible uses for reliable is the word faithful and the Bible talks about being a faithful friend being a faithful spouse being a faithful leader of being faithful to God being faithful to your church and your family and your friends and on Iran and the Bible says that faithfulness people who are reliable that they you can count on them this is a very rare they’re very they’re very remarkable because most people are not reliable they’re not now let me give you definition reliability means being dependable being trustworthy being honest being loyal the Bible says in proverbs 20 verse 6 there are plenty of people who will tell you you can trust me yeah all right run for the border but it’s hard to find someone who is truly trust a lot of people in the King James and says every man will proclaim his own faithfulness but who can find a faithful man in other words it’s rare it’s remarkable when you find somebody that you can totally trust and employees pay big bucks for people who are reliable they know I can count on them you know how do I do that how how do I grow reliability how do I develop a reputation for being a reliable person well in lots of ways but let me just give you three from Scripture write these down number one this is kind of obvious always tell the truth duh if you don’t always tell the truth then you’re not reliable if I’m honest eighty percent of the time there is that reliable no it’s kind of like if I said to my wife Kay honey I’ll be faithful to you twenty-eight days a month really partial faithfulness is unfaithfulness it’s either All or Nothing and reliability means I’m always there and I always tell the truth the Bible says in Proverbs 17-7 respected people do not tell lies number two always do what I promise that shows reliability it shows it to to a boss to employee or supervisor always do what I promised to do the Bible talks about like clouds without rain as is a friend who promises to do something and then doesn’t do it proverbs 28:13 says this reliable friends who do what they say are like cool drinks in a sweltering heat refreshing I like that in the message paraphrase here’s another verse there in your outline problem Psalm 15 first force as this they keep their promises to their neighbors even when it hurts do you do that have you ever made a commitment and you know there’s no problem of that but then something else comes up that’s better and you go I want to get out of this commitment cuz this is a better thing and I’ll have more fun I’ll make more money or is be more immoral axing or whatever well the Bible says they keep their promises to their neighbors even when it hurts in other words when it’s to my detriment I’m now gonna lose money on this or whatever that’s reliability that is so rare that it’s remarkable because most people are not that kind of reliable so I always tell the truth and I always do what I say I’ll do and number three I always keep confidential information this was one of the ten career limiting problems that people have gossip gossip keeps a lot of people from being promoted in life because they can’t keep a secret they just have to share it with somebody else reliable people know how to keep their mouth shut they know how to keep confidential information confidential do you can if somebody tells you a secret can they can you be counted on to not tell anybody that’s pretty rare that’s remarkable proverbs 1113 gossips can’t keep secrets but a trustworthy person can you’ll never be remarkable if you can’t keep secret but you’ll never be remarkable as a gossip by the way when people gossip to you you can be certain they will gossip about you you just need to know that you may not think so well they’re my friend if they’re gossiping to you then they will gossip about you because they get power by spreading information it makes them feel superior it makes them feel in control and anybody who has to share bad news about other people gossip to you is gonna gossip about you also and the Bible tells you over and over and over and over to avoid gossips don’t hang out with them don’t be friends with them stay away from them why because it’s cages proverbs 11 13 and the New Living Translation says this gossip goes around revealing secrets but those who are trustworthy in other words reliable can keep a confidence again corporations pay big money for people who are not just you know respectful but they’re reliable so how do you do that how do you build reliability these qualities and some of the other things are related to in yourself and in kids you know I think reliability comes to mind when I’m teaching my children how to be trustworthy how to make the right decisions but if you do make the wrong decision to own up to it and my sweet daughter allowed me to tell this story she was in first grade and she had looked at someone else’s paper and she felt so guilty that night she told us about it and we said well you’re gonna need to tell your teacher about it the next day and she just walked into first grade and she’d let her teacher know that she made a mistake and I think when we teach them to be reliable and trustworthy when we give them the opportunity to be empowered to do that rather than me or my husband going in and talking to the teacher she really owned it and then she learned that she needed to do what the right thing and it’s a process that’s a huge lesson for her to go by herself and you know we’ll come to that come back to that but that’s good well I always tell my kids my response is my responsibility and their response is their responsibility and when I think about this thing with gossip so many times we have the choice whether we’re gonna participate in the gossip or not so someone else might be saying something and we get to choose are we gonna respond are we gonna participate or same thing with telling the truth are we going to choose to tell the truth or are we gonna sale a lie because we don’t wanna get in trouble and so that’s one of the things I try to teach my kids my response is my responsibility you know in most states for you to willingly receive stolen goods and you know they’re stolen the penalty is the same as stealing that’s true of stolen information in gossip that use it well I don’t gossip but you’re receiving it so you’re perpetuating the problem in that office that’s not being reliable and it’s not well I don’t share it but if you take it you’re receiving stolen property stolen information stuff what is gossip it’s sharing information when your needs a part of the problems or the solution that’s gossip if you’re part of the problem then you need to deal with it if you’re part of the solution you need to go to that person so I’m thinking about how much we can learn from non examples and from the moments where people aren’t reliable for us and how we use that pain to fuel being better and being more reliable so when a child is gossiped about or when we’re gossiped about and we remember how much it hurts to hear that how much that can reinforce our commitment to being better and so for me and for the kids I serve and for everyone else I think that’s that’s probably the biggest piece is using those eggs non-examples and those moments of hurt to fuel being more reliable hmm okay so we’re talking about not the three hours of reading writing arithmetic we’re talking about the four hours of character that build a remarkable life and first as we said is to be respectful and the second is to be reliable here’s the third one resourceful if I want to build a remarkable life if I want to build a remarkable career I must learn to be resourceful you know I’m going to explain this to you but again as I said companies pay top dollar pay a lot of money for people who are resourceful and who are resourceful buell they’re people who figure out solutions to problems they they they are resourceful in that they they look for ways to do a workaround or create a solution they’re figuring out ways to solve problems here’s a definition resourcefulness is two things it’s making the most of what I have do you know how to do that not waiting for something else to come in before you actually start living making the most of what I have and finding solutions to problems that others have overlooked that’s what it means to be resourceful my dad’s motto and I heard who said over and over growing up plus I will do the best I have my best I can with what I have for Jesus Christ today I like that I’ll do the best I can with what I have for Jesus Christ today I’m not waiting for everything to fall in place if I’m waiting for perfect environment nothing’s ever gonna get done I’ll do the best I can with what I have that’s resourcefulness you need resourcefulness in your finances because you’re never gonna have unlimited finances you need resourcefulness in your time you’re never gonna have unlimited time you need resourcefulness in creative solutions in relationships and your health and in a lot of things because we live as I said in a broken imperfect world you’re never gonna have perfect circumstances for anything nothing in your life will ever have perfect circumstances there will always be something wrong with it that’s why you need to learn to be resourceful where you do the workarounds with the problems with the weather with the lack of this resource or whatever whatever we need one of the great examples of resourcefulness would be Paul and in Philippians 4:12 he says this the Apostle Paul he says I know how to live on almost nothing or with everything I’ve learned the secret of living in every situation whether it is with a full stomach or an empty one with plenty or with little he goes I don’t care if I’m up or down if I’ve been poverty or I’m in prosperity if things are going good things going bad I’ve learned how to live in it what’s he saying I’m resourceful and and people who are resourceful who don’t have to have everything just right are the people who get ahead in life they’re the people who change the world they’re the people who make an impact who live remarkable lives let me go back to my my panel of moms you guys doing great so talk to me about resourcefulness how do we teach kids to be resourceful so that they’re not dependent upon us so one of the things that I think about is not always answering their questions helping them to find solutions a lot of times children I mean even young adults need to learn how to make decisions on their own so instead of answering their question or solving their problem which I did for a long time with my own kids I realized they needed to understand their choices and decisions and how to go about making them so I began asking them questions and asking them how they were gonna solve the problem and what they thought about it and it really made a difference in how they came up with solutions they pray about it God would just start this creativity in their mind and pretty soon they had a solution that had formed that’s great so in my classroom I’m a science teacher and we do a lot of engineering labs now and a lot of them are problem-solving labs and so the students have to work as a team and collaborate and solve and come problem-solve and so a lot of times they’ll get stuck somewhere and it’d be really easy for me to just tell them the right answer but I want them to have to troubleshoot and problems learn that skill of problem-solving so I always just say how are you gonna solve that problem and maybe give a little hint but I usually do not give them the answer and so they work together as a team and what I find is after they’ve solved it without my help it’s empowering they feel very proud of themselves they’ve they’ve worked together and they solve the problem and if I just give them the answer I’m kind of robbing them from having that empowerment that they feel when they solve it themselves yeah yeah Julie my husband had been laid off three times the first two times we learned some lessons and some good things the third time was the charm my husband had come to me and said look we’re gonna obey God we’re gonna surrender we’re gonna trust him he’s gonna provide for us and really what God was doing is he was showing us that my husband needed to change careers and we’re older and so that was a little bit of a scary thing for us but we trusted God and today he’s in a whole new career at 57 years old that was hard but with God he gave us the ability and the resources to move through that season and the connections into something new that he wanted Wow so this is such a tough thing to do with kids and with adults because when you can see the solution you want to give it to someone but machine is the authority to my child and you don’t want them to hurt and sometimes I think of how I do it um even in my office when someone presents a problem it’s so much quicker sometimes for me to just solve it than it is for me to allow the struggle because that takes so much more time and so much more energy and sometimes I have to watch my kids hurt or be frustrated or those kinds of things but that ultimately I’m giving them more by letting them go through that struggle then I would be if I gave them the solution right enough oh wow you know I mentioned this in a previous session that anytime you take responsibility for people you take it away from them and and and so when you make all the decisions for your child or you solve all their problems you’re actually creating dependency you’re robbing them of dignity you’re keeping them from growing up stop solving all your kid’s problems because and then one day they’re gonna get out on their own they’re not gonna have any let me tell you something it’s more important that they learn how to solve a problem than it is to actually solve the problem because the problem won’t last but the skills that you learn in problem-solving do and and I like what Julia said and and actually I think Jody said it and you know talked about – is it you have to lead them we’re not talking about leaving them on their own like you go figure it out but you can lead them with questions Jesus was the master at this Jesus taught people by asking them questions and and and when they come your kids come to you with a problem you go well let’s talk about that how do you think you might solve that problem that’s a problem that’s a real problem I agree with you I think I’ve seen it before maybe I’ve never seen it before but that’s problem let’s talk about what what what might be some options let’s try to think of let’s play the game of three can we think of three different ways we might solve this problem or one to ten and you know I remember when I would played the game of one to ten on this start in this church it’s like I didn’t have any money we didn’t have a building so where we gonna meet and I just got out a piece of paper and I wrote 1 to 10 I thought okay where could we meet I thought I wrote down I think number one was a Jewish synagogue because they don’t meet on Sunday okay that might be open I think number two was a seventh-day Adventist Church okay you know because they they don’t meet on Sunday number three was get a tent okay number three or four was like in a park number five was like what about Sunday morning at a movie theater cuz nobody goes to movies at 9:00 a.m. on Sunday morning and I literally just made a list and started working that and I think number seven was like get a school and that’s where we ended up well you just force yourself to think through and so you can ask questions and don’t solve the problems for them now you’re not leaving them on their own you’re guiding them and any and when they start to go down the wrong way well no well that might think about this what might be the consequence of that but you’re you’re building the muscle by letting them learn problem-solving because that’s what resourcefulness is if you solve them problems for all of them if you treat your kids as babies you’re gonna have to die from the rest of your life the same goes for employees okay and and you know same goes for Church staff people come to me and say what do you think we should what do you think you should do well you’re the pastor yeah I am then I’m telling what do you think you should do and you force them at will you say well they might make a mistake well I don’t wanna make all the mistakes myself I want to spread the blame around in this church I want you making some of the area I don’t want to make all the failures so come on share the blame you you may come how do you how do you how do you become wise to experience how do you get experience by making wrong decisions and then when you make long things you get wisdom and then that gives you good decisions any best won’t say any more about that the only thing I’ll add is that one of my favorite things is when current research matches biblical truth and exactly what you’re saying is what’s out there right now there’s a book called the multiplier effect that talks about employers and the best way to be a supervisor is to not give all the answers to your staff and to make them to multiply talent is to make them solve problems and to make them find things that’s great this is why when we go on peace trips we don’t do stuff for other people in other countries we help them do it for themselves a lot of people tell me to go I want to go somewhere and build an orange please don’t first place the list of 99 things to do for orphans I’d put it at number 99 ask any kid in the world you want to be in an institution or in a family 100% I’ll say in a family be actually better to pay an aunt who doesn’t have the money to take on a couple of extra kids than to put them in an institution because when you take a kid when their mom and dad die and you take that kid and put them in orphanage you’re going them guaranteeing perpetual poverty because they lose all their land rights in most countries and what we think is helping is actually hurting we don’t build orphanages we put kids and families in fact we’ve been shutting down all the orphanages in Rwanda and we’re now down to three we had one last year we shut down we’re down to three Rwanda will hopefully be the first nation in the world with no orphanages okay now what we do is if you it doesn’t say in the Great Commission go do things for other people it says teach them to do the things I’ve commanded you so that’s training all right let’s go to the last one number four if I want to build a remarkable life if I want to build a remarkable career I’ve got to learn the fourth art which is I must learn to be resilient resilient and that means you don’t give up when you stumble when you fall when you make mistake you get up you dust yourself off and and and you move ahead you’re resilient you bounce back you you don’t fall apart when things fall apart we live in a nation today filled with people who do not know how to be resilient and when something goes wrong they just give up if at first you don’t succeed their motto is not try try again it’s give up then expect the government to do it for you or whatever yeah you don’t in when you have resilience you don’t label yourself as a victim there’s case as you choose joy yeah you have same problems there vales does but you choose to keep going you choose to keep moving ahead here’s the definition resilience is the ability to bounce back and to recover from a loss or from failure or from stress or from disappointment this is one of the most important skills and people who learn to be respectful and reliable and resource and resilient they’re never gonna have a problem getting a job because bosses are looking for that kind of quality person let me give you a couple verses proverbs 24:16 when good people stumble even if they fall seven times they will get back up and I’d like for you to circle the phrase good people because notice that even good people stumble I love this verse one of my favorite verses in the Bible it says in King James though a righteous man falls seven times he rises again even righteous people mess up even righteous people stumble even righteous people make bad decisions and mistakes but you don’t failure is never final failure is never fatal failure is how you learn what doesn’t work so you don’t ever call it a failure call it an experiment because that’s how you learn what doesn’t work you know Thomas Senatus Thomas Edison I think tried I don’t know eight hundred plus different metals before he came up with tungsten as the effective metal for the incandescent lightbulb he didn’t say well I’ve failed eight hundred times he said I know any hundred things that don’t work and so if you have that learning mentality we’re going to talk about this in the next series a learning mentality it’s not like I failed 800 times it’s like I had to get either just try before I found up but what works one of the keys of Saddleback Church is that we’re not afraid to fail I just teach our lay leaders our volunteers our staff and it just fail fast I tell all the staff I want you failing every week if you’re not failing you’re not trying anything new it’s not a failure to try something out and doesn’t work how we know that doesn’t work what what it what is bad is if you keep failing doing the same thing over and over and over and not learning from it make it a new failure make it a doozy so as your pastor I’m telling you go out and fail this week it won’t hurt it’s how you learn to be a success I something I’ll write a book a thousand ways to not grow a church because I know every one of them we’ve tried them all we tried 99 things they don’t work a number 100 works then we go out and teach a seminar to three thousand pastors pretend like we know what we’re doing but we’re not that smart it’s just trial and error studies have shown that parents who try to protect their kids from failure and try to buffer them and even if they do fail they won’t let them feel it it’s okay to let your kids feel bad because they’ll learn that it doesn’t kill you the the people who fear failure the most are those who were not allowed to fail growing up they were not allowed to fail and and and when they did fail we immediately switched the subject we didn’t let them feel it’s it’s part of growing up it’s part of feeling bad is part of life what the sooner you teach your kids law number one everything on earth is broken the better law number two nothing is perfect on this planet except the Word of God it’s perfect and God’s love for you is perfect but everything else is broken it’s all flawed because of sin and so we shouldn’t expect it to be perfect and if we give our kids the idea that life’s gonna be a combination of my little pony and you know Rainbow Brite with pastels and flowers coming down in the in and unicorns they’re gonna be pretty upset when they hit the real world life is tough everything’s broken nothing’s perfect but God is good and life can be good even in a broken world and marriage can be good even though we’re all broken and so can everything else and ultimately we’re gonna go to a place where it’s all good all the time and that’s heaven but this is not heaven here we have you know lymphoma and here we have abuse and here we have a lot of war a lot of other but life can be good even in the middle of bad but it’s choice and the choice is to learn to be resilient alright good example is Paul again second Corinthians four seven and eight are eight and eight and nine Paul says we’re often pressured from every side never feel like that pressured from every side we’re often pressured for anything but we’re never crushed sometimes we don’t know what to do but we never despair sometimes were attacked and we’re abused but God never abandons us and we get knocked down but we get up again and we keep going that is resilience second Corinthians four eight nine the Phillips translation says we get knocked down but we’re not knocked out we get back up again team of panel of moms and teachers how do we help people be more resilient how do we teach that well I think you can’t learn how to be resilient until you’ve gone through something hard you have to experience a heartbreak or loss or disappointment and then you can learn how to bounce back and be resilient and four and a half years ago our family went through a really hard time we went through a divorce and it was really painful and the kids and I struggled through it and I learned that the way to be resilient is not to depend on my own strength because I didn’t have enough but to depend on God’s strength and he would get me through the hard time that I went through and I taught my kids that as well and I think we want to protect our kids and shelter them but we need to show them that their will go through loss everyone experiences something in their life and help them learn how to walk through it and depend on God through it and he’s able to be faithful and get us through the toughest of times and so that to me is what showing resilience is and I I can’t overstate the value of being awesome tikkun real and what you’ve just done in front of a ton of people about our own mistakes and our own failures and how not only is that so valuable for your kids because it teaches them how to respond but it endears the people around you people are so much more attracted to you when they see that you’re flawed too and that you’ve made a mistake then they might be otherwise so I I think you there’s opportunities to do it when you go through something tough and there are small opportunities but that happen all the time because we’re human you know it it happened in my house last week when my daughter looked at me and said that wasn’t a respectful way to talk to dad and I had to you know there’s a moment where you think oh I just failed as a mom but in that moment to be able to honestly look at your child and say you’re right I did and here’s what I’m gonna do about it you teach them that this is what it looks like on a daily basis that that I there’s an action step beyond this I take a minute and then I move forward I love what you said because I think we all make mistakes and we’re pairing the rupture is a huge part of owning owning it and saying to your kids I messed up I wasn’t respectful or I didn’t wasn’t respectful to speaking with how I talked with whoever you were speaking with and just saying I’m sorry and repairing that rupture that’s a really important part I read this card it was so awesome at the store the other day and it said put on your brave and decide to be amazing and I thought you know that’s really good when it comes to resilience get get up after you’ve tripped and you stumbled and you fall or if there’s a mess or something that’s been created but just put on your brave and decide to be amazing hmm is this a needed quality in our world today yeah because we give up too soon and you have too soon all four of these qualities and qualities of Jesus Christ and the more you build these qualities in your life the more you doesn’t price like you’re going to be but I love the fact that all three of these women shared that we often help people best by sharing our weaknesses down our strengths we often think well people gonna learn from your weaknesses no they actually learn more from your from your strengths we actually learn more from your weaknesses I could sit up here in this service and I could tell you all the bit things that I’m good at and you’ve got well goody for you Rick whoopty do whoopty do you’re just you painted the moon you know and it doesn’t help anybody doesn’t draw us closer just go the guy’s got a problem with his ego on the other hand if I get up here and I talk to you about as I have about how Kay and I struggle with all different kinds of marriages problems over the year we’ve been married 42 years and and so but we’re more in love than ever before but the problems it wasn’t always easy wasn’t always easy in the first couple years we were so close to splitting up except we just didn’t I didn’t want to admit it but the problem is is that you know when when when Matthew took his life my son after a lifelong struggle with mental illness committed suicide well somebody’s visibles Kay and me we decided we’re gonna use this to teach people how to grieve correctly we weren’t gonna waste our pain we’re gonna go if you’re going to go through pain you might as well use it to help somebody else you know that pain you’ve gone through don’t waste it if you’ll be honest to God about it honest yourself and and and honest with other people God will use it your greatest ministry will often come out of your biggest failure or your deepest pain or your worst regret and the stuff that you don’t even want to talk about that you’re embarrassed about somebody out there needs it who could help somebody better who struggled with being abused than somebody who went through the pain of abuse who can better help somebody who’s struggling with prejudice and bigotry and racism and somebody who’s felt the sting of prejudice and bigotry and racism who could better help someone who struggled with alcohol or alcoholic parents as we mentioned here earlier then somebody who went through that situation that’s what celebrate recovery is all about God does not want to waste anything in your life and part of resilience comes from being able to share it with others where you’re able to help other people now this was so important starting next weekend I’m gonna do a whole series on it and and and we’re gonna do a series on how to turn your setbacks into comebacks everybody loves a comeback story but we don’t realize there is no comeback unless first you have a setback setbacks part of the part of the story in your life setback is what makes you hero you don’t have any setbacks you’re never gonna be a hero you just got it all fed to you with a silver spoon no the real heroes in life are those who have setback after setback after setback some of you have had health setbacks I’m going through one right now so you had financial setbacks relational setbacks mental health setbacks spiritual setbacks I mean that’s why you need to be here at this church that’s why you need to bring people who have setbacks here this church because this if you’ve had a setback we’re going to help you have a comeback at Saddleback okay all right Saddleback is the place for comebacks it’s why the s in our name each of our values S stands for second-chance place of grace this place was built on helping people have comebacks have second acts in life I don’t care come messed up your past has been next week we start a new series on how to have the greatest comeback of your life how to set the stage for the comeback what’s gonna be your next act your second act alright so start praying about who to bring to this service and the reason we have resiliency is not because we’re better than other people we’re not it’s because of what we know and we’re gonna look at all there’s a phrase that’s used all through the Bible says because we know because we know this and you can do this because we know this we can do this because we know that it’s all about perspective I’ll end with one verse look at this verse on the screen Galatians you know Romans five verse three and it says this we can rejoice even when we run into problems and trials even in an imperfect broken world we can rejoice because we know that’s the key because we know that they’re good for us they help us learn endurance what’s endurance it’s another word for resilience endurance determination persistence all of these things are what the person who learns to be resourceful and reliable and respectful and resilient has the world at their feet because they are remarkable they are rare because everybody has those other things those 10 self-defeating limitations that keep you from moving forward in your life let’s bow for prayer these all come from Jesus Christ and if you get Christ in your life then you’re gonna get the power you need but you have to make the choices because you can listen to all these things and not do anything about it in go home and do nothing turn on the TV and forget it but if you say I really want to be a remarkable person I want to be different I want the rest of my life to be different well okay let’s make that choice right now in this moment just follow me in this prayer say something like this dear God I want to stop blaming other people for my problems I want to stop making excuses for my my problems I want to learn to be responsible and I want to learn to be reliable and I want to speak the truth and do what I say I’ll do and learn to keep confidences I want to learn to be respectful for everybody even when they disrespect me they can’t control my response I’m in control of that so god I want to learn to be like Jesus to respect people and their dignity even when I disagree with them to be resourceful help me to learn how to solve problems to not wait for other people to solve them they’re not wait for the government anybody else but to use the brain that you gave me help me to be not just resourceful and respectful but to be resilient and reliable God you know the things that get me down you know how many times I’ve wanted to give up you know how many times I wanted to just throw in the towel I’m asking for your help help me to remember because we know that you work all things for good because we know that you will never stop loving us because we know that you use even the bad stuff in good ways in our lives I want to be one of those righteous people that when I fall seven times I get right back up and I want starting this week the rest of my life to be different I want this to be a turning point if you’ve never opened your life to Jesus Christ say something like this Jesus I want to get to know you I don’t understand at all but I want to get to know you I want to learn to trust you I want to ask you to fill my life with faith instead of fear and would love instead of insecurity and with purpose and meaning and I want to know your plan for my life and I I want to start this journey by just saying to you yes Jesus Christ I’m in don’t accept what you did for me on the cross and I want to start growing and I want to live a remarkable life and I humbly ask this in your name amen thanks for checking out this message on YouTube my name is J and I’m Saddleback’s online pastor I want to invite you to take your next step by checking out our online community or help get you connected to a local Saddleback campus three things we have to offer you right now first learn more about belonging to our church family by taking class 101 second don’t live life alone and get into community with others by joining an online small group or a local home group in your area third join our Facebook group to be more engaged with our online communities throughout the week take your next step and learn where a local campus is near you by visiting Saddleback comm watch online or email online at Saddleback comm hope to hear from you soon

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