How To Manage Your ‘Chimp’

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How To Manage Your ‘Chimp’ Video

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How To Manage Your ‘Chimp’ Video Transcript

read the chimp paradox online free

you hi everyone my name is sarah rod a founder of ginger dog development and resident coach here at rocketmail today we are talking about chimp management this is something I talk about quite often in my coaching sessions with people it’s also something I use often in the work that I do around mental toughness and resilience it’s based on the work of Steve Peters in his book the chimp paradox has anybody here read it just a quick show of hands a few of you fantastic ok so so this will be a bit of a refresher for you guys but for those of you who’ve not come across it let me tell you a little bit about the chimp let me introduce you to your chimp so the chimp paradox gives us a really simple way of understanding the main parts of our psychological mind and you’ll see here there are so three main parts that Professor Peters talks about in his book so if we start with the computer which is up there at top left the computer part of our brain is our knowledge storage it’s where we keep all our memories and our experiences ok he then talks about the human being so this is the the frontal part of your brain and that’s the home of your logical and rational thinking so very human beings space and then the last part and the bit we’re going to look at today is the chimp part of your brain and the chimp is where your emotional and irrational thinking comes from and often yet it creates your emotional and irrational behavior as well ok and so it’s quite a strong part of your brain because it’s the most ancient part of your brain and it’s there because it’s interested in survival so it’s really important that it’s a strong part of your brain if you did find yourself in a dangerous situation the chimp would be the part of your brain that takes over and takes control ok however chimp is not very good at recognizing the difference between real physical danger and what we would call emotional danger so let’s have a little look at some different examples so anybody here ever experience road rage most days so sound ok so somebody pulls out in front of you you have to slam on the brakes and then you find yourself driving right on the bumper of the person that just pulled out in front of you your fists wearing and being really angry about it that is not a human being behavior that is not logical rational sensible behavior we would all accept that right that is your chimp that’s just coming out to play because it felt that you were threatened in that situation yeah so anytime that we feel threatened or vulnerable so things like new relationships for instance are a great time for the chimp to be out and playing at times when you are perhaps in a meeting and somebody disagrees with you would be another time where your chimp might come out to play anytime that you notice in yourself irrational emotional behavior usually that’s the chimp at play okay that makes sense there would be so far yeah fantastic so why might it be useful at this time of year why have I chosen this time of year to tell you a little bit about your chimp and how you might manage it do you think any thoughts Christmas is looming putting up with the in-laws absolutely so christmas is coming christmas is coming and typically we spend a lot more time with people at Christmas that we perhaps don’t spend time with during the year and this can be quite fractious and often the chimp comes out to play it can be quite a stressful period of time and that’s when we notice it oh just one piece of camera before we move on my mum has started watching rocket mill videos so mum if you’re watching none of this has anything to do with our family Christmas that it’s a fairy tale of Disney Disney proportions every year so don’t get in trouble okay back to the chimp so there are three methods with which we can manage our chimp let’s put them up first of all exercise the chimp secondly box the chimp and thirdly banana oh yes I’m imagining you all in Christmas now going right shall I exercise box up an honor this situation yeah that’s what I want to be happening anyway I want news of this let’s talk about each one so first of all if your chimp is agitated or upset about something then the first thing that’s really helpful to do is allow it to get that out-and-about to exercise your chimp okay let it run about in a safe place exercising your chimp with clients in a meeting is not a safe place it’s not that’s not appropriate but with a friend over a cup of coffee that might be a good time to have a little rant get it off your chest okay everybody’s done that I’m sure at some point and it makes you feel a bit better yeah makes you feel better for a couple of reasons first of all ties the chimp out a little bit so all that stuff that’s going on in your head if you can get it out that’s really helpful secondly if you’re exercising your chimp with somebody that you trust and who cares about you chances are they’ll be able to help with some solutions for whatever the situation is that’s causing that upset for you and thirdly sometimes just the process of saying some of the stuff that’s in our heads out loud and able to kind of go that’s not very helpful is it and come up with a solution for ourselves so as an example classic Christmas one mother-in-law is criticized no she’s going to make Christmas a misery what would exercise in your chimp look like in this situation it would be perhaps phoning a friend having a moan about everything you dislike about your mother-in-law and how miserable it’s going to be and just getting up off your chest okay we feel better for that so that’s exercising your chimp secondly boxing your chimp so when the chimps been exercise you’ve usually got a better chance of bringing in some rational human being behavior and thought processes at that point okay so what would that look like or sound like in terms of our example saying to yourself something different so often it’s about the messaging that we’re giving ourselves in our own heads so we might for instance employ some more logical thinking which is she’s only going to be here for one day I can put up with anything for one day I’m a grown-up and I don’t need to be affected by what she says and does okay so that’s bringing your human being into play to talk your chimp down yeah and then last one the banana of distraction or reward this is not a long term solution but it can help in short-term it’s a bit of a temporary measure so rather than wallowing in the misery of your mother-in-law’s potentially impending visit you might choose to decorate the tree or take the kids out or go and do something different and so just focusing on that thing that would be distraction okay reward tends to be around praise recognition sometimes it’s around a glass of wine I am not recommending the glass of wine or too many on Christmas Day with the mother-in-law situation because of course too much wine allows the chimp back out to play again doesn’t it so we just need to watch out for that so slightly different example here so I hate Christmas shopping you don’t want to do it that’s your chimp cutting I don’t want to do it don’t want to go out do hate it how do we reward the chimp you say you say right I’ve got eight people to buy for I’m gonna go out and I’ve bought four presents for people then I’m gonna have I’m gonna stop for a cup of coffee or I’m gonna stop for a glass of wine or a cold beer or whatever it might be yeah so anytime you notice your brain telling you something that’s not very helpful or your your behavior being something that’s not very helpful chances are as your chimp at play in some way shape or form and recognizing that and then employing some methods can be really helpful for us so exercise box banana this is your mantra for Christmas any situation that’s slightly stressful you are going to employ this itself through all of that stuff and that my friends is my Christmas wish for you and my Christmas gift to you and I hope you have a lovely chimp free Christmas you

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